How to Turn Fear into Love: Seeing the World as Pro-you

How to Turn Fear into Love: Seeing the World as Pro-you

If it sounds easy, you’re right, because in most cases transforming our fears into love can be as basic as simply envisioning the best-case scenario. In short: this means seeing the world and what unfolds as being “pro-you” rather than otherwise.

While on the one hand this means embracing a positive mindset, the other task that befalls us is acquiring the skills to recognize and transform any thoughts rooted in fear. Where the resistance lies and expectations arise is where there is an opportunity to resolve any fears by transforming them into thoughts based in love. 

A certain amount of fear in life is to be expected. After all, it is fear that activates our defensive mechanism, which is an inherent part of human nature as well as of most any sentient being. Fear can work to push us to protect ourselves in dire moments, but it doesn’t benefit us when we live with such emotions or thoughts for any longer than we truly have to.

Fear may serve us to save our families from the destructive force of an earthquake, but if not, and if we have the luxury of a moment to choose, wouldn’t it be best to see everything that unfolds in the universe as being “Pro-You”?

See the Universe as Pro-You

See the Universe as Pro-You

We have the ability to decide to see what happens in our lives as being positive or negative, which is the essence of choosing “love not “fear”. When we choose to perceive things that happen as being negative, just know that this thought is rooted in fear. It may be fear of the unknown, loss or rejection, which may be valid feelings from the past.

But that’s the thing, fears as such are usually derived from past experiences that are being brought up in the present as valid examples to justify fear.

But this defensive mechanism doesn’t make that fear any more valid than the opposite option, which is to see experiences as happening for a greater reason or at the very worst, as an opportunity for growth. This means choosing love and not fear and trusting in the process of life transpiring for what may actually be the best for you. 

While this may seem daunting, or even woo-woo, there are a number of tactile actions we can take to make the process of choosing love not fear in our everyday lives much easier and to ensure our trust in everything that happens as indeed being “Pro-You”.

1. Act by The Four Agreements

“The Four Agreements” are this: Be Impeccable With Your Word, Don’t Take Anything Personally, Don’t Make Assumptions and Always Do Your Best. While these are truly great rules to live by, it is also a great mindset to start with because it eradicates any baseless thoughts that others are somehow out to get you.

These rules also encourage empathy towards others, through pushing us to think of all possible scenarios of a situation when not making assumptions or taking things personally.

2. Adopt a Growth Mindset

Adopt a Growth Mindset

A “growth mindset” is one in which we see challenges as opportunities for growth versus the “fixed mindset”, which perceives everything as pre-determined and effort otherwise as pointless. Having set expectations creates much more opportunity for disappointment.

Acting for the purpose of learning, growing and experiencing whatever the outcome, leads to a much more enjoyable and fulfilling life. 

3. Don’t Fall into the Victim Loop

The Victim vs. Accountability Loop works to pinpoint how to not avoid, but instead seek solutions to undesired outcomes. The victim loop is ignoring, denying, blaming, rationalizing, resisting and hiding from an undesired situation.

Whereas pursuing the accountability loop, which is: recognizing, owning, forgiving, self-examining, learning and taking action, is what allows us to thrive. 

4. Awareness of the Moment

Awareness is everything. If we can’t see it then we can’t change it. The most important thing in life and where our true happiness and inner peace lies is in the moment. The present moment is truly the only tangible thing we have. It is our responsibility to experience it as it truly is.

This means looking into our fears, just as much as it means enjoying a beautiful sunset. The more we are able to free our minds of the burdens from our past or concerns for the future, the more we can enjoy the moment, which is in essence finding peace of mind and in the long-term inner peace, which is arguably the greatest expression of happiness. 

5. Address and Deal with Past Trauma

Most everyone has trauma and whatever the source, chances are it is the reason for the fear we feel.

Recognizing this and dealing with it, which in short can be done through awareness, surrender, forgiveness and setting new intentions, is the greatest responsibility we have to ourselves and our relation-ships, especially if fear is what is navigating your vessel.  

Be Ready to Receive

Be Ready to Receive

The most important factor for feeling that the universe is “Pro-You” is to be pro-you yourself. What does this mean?

It means taking care of your body as a main priority. It means getting sufficient sleep, eating healthily, exercising, relaxing and reducing the intake of toxins and existing in toxic environments that do not serve you. It means tracking where you spend your energy, attention, time and finances and ensuring that they align with your values and vision and mission in life.

It means knowing, planning for and tracking what it is you want to achieve and cultivating the right habits for you to do so. Something as simple as a sleepless night can easily change our perspective on how we experience things. We may feel or think we are unsafe, when in fact that fear may have solely been derived from how we are treating our bodies. 

Write or Rewrite Your Own Scenario

The bottom line is: we have the choice to decide whether any particular situation is for or against our benefit and it is to our advantage to always choose the latter. We can choose to see past experiences as tools for inner growth and we can choose to perceive current obstacles as simply challenges to overcome and the desired future as something to continuously work towards.

We can practice feeling the emotions we want by writing our own script for what has, is and will take place in our lives. Like a film scenario, we can practice the script by preparing for the part and internalizing the dialogue we want to have, while positively envisioning its outcome.

By acknowledging our fears, we can separate ourselves from them and clearly conjure up how to see them differently. To change fears to thoughts and feelings derived from love we can write our own story for what happened in the past, what is happening now and for what will take place in the future.

If we replace our fears of what might happen with thoughts of what we actually want, what we already have and all that we have done to achieve it, then comes a true awareness of reality and how everything that happens is indeed “Pro-You” and has brought you to this very moment of appreciating the ‘now’ in love and not in fear. 

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Leyla Ergil